aroo!!

Yesterday I finished my second Spartan race of the year.  The Spartan race series works hard to keep its participants engaged so they will continue to participate.  One of the questions they ask (mostly on social media) is "why I race."

The race I did yesterday was just over 12 miles long with 30 different obstacles.  It took me about 3.5 hours to finish.  When I train, I run/workout with headphones, listening to music or an audiobook.  Because of the wet and muddy terrain during the race, I spend all that time, talking to myself.  Just in my head, so nobody else thinks I am crazy.

During yesterday's race I had a couple of conversations with myself that I thought I would share with you today.  In order to understand the conversation I think you need to understand a little bit of background about how I decided to do my first spartan race almost 2 years ago.

 My friends (Davy and Mckay) were showing me some online videos of a mud race they were thinking about doing in Utah.  It looked really hard.  I couldn't help but give these guys a hard time that they were crazy to even attempt it.  I am not sure what they thought (I wasn't very nice) but I had a pretty good laugh imagining them doing this race.  I decided to share the laughter with my family when I got home that day.  I showed them all the same videos and started laughing about how Davy and McKay thought they could do it.  I did not get the response I expected.  Nobody laughed.  they all looked at me and said, "Yeah, dad you could never do that..." Whoa...That is not acceptable.

I immediately signed up for the race.  I texted my friends and told them I had signed up and they should join me (I am sure I forgot to apologize for my earlier attitude.)

Well that day I started preparing for these races and I have been pretty obsessed ever since.  I ran 3 races in 2014, and will run 3 this year.

During yesterdays race I kept thinking what I would tell someone if they asked me "why I race."  This year I have raced both races with my shirt off and a big tattoo* on my back with Alisa's name.  So do I run for Alisa?  No, I don't think so.  After I ran 2 races last year I decided I was in good enough shape to try and run a marathon for the first time in my life.  Out of all the sports/activities I have done in my life, the marathon impressed Alisa the most.  After she passed away, I signed up for the Salt Lake Marathon, in her honor, that I will run for her.  After I did my first Spartan race of the year (in June) I thought for sure the marathon would motivate me to keep running and working out.  Well it didn't quite work out that way.

Monday (after the race) - alarm set for 5:00 AM.  Snooze button every ten minutes for over 3 hours, wake up just in time to get the kids to swim lessons.  determined to be better tomorrow.

Tuesday - alarm set for 5:00 AM.  Snooze button every ten minutes for over 3 hours, wake up just in time to get the kids to swim team.  determined to be better tomorrow.

Wednesday - alarm set for 5:00 AM.  Snooze button every ten minutes for over 3 hours, wake up just in time to get the kids to swim team.  Immediately signed up for 2 more Spartan races.

I haven't been perfect getting up to exercise, but looking forward to a Spartan race is great motivation for me.  So, why do I race?  For myself, for my own sanity, because I am afraid of what I become if I don't (sleeping in every day, just getting out of bed when necessary, not a pretty future)

So then the question, why Alisa's name on my back.  This is actually much simpler.  Each race I ran in 2014, I would come home, scrapped, scratched, and bruised, and Alisa would ask, "Did you run with your shirt off?"  I would reply, "No way, that sounds miserable." Alisa, "Well, then I guess you are not a "real" Spartan then."  Now I run my Spartan races without my shirt, and a big tattoo* to show Alisa I am a "real" Spartan.

It only took me half of my 3.5 hours to figure that all out.

The second question I asked myself only requires a little background.

While waiting for my heat to start yesterday, I overheard multiple people talking about how they are running the race with their significant other.  I started thinking about what I would say to the question "oh, your wife doesn't do Spartan races, what does she do?"  This imaginary person would not know that this kind of race/competition was not up her alley, and even though I am having an imaginary conversation, I am not interested in explaining what Alisa has been busy doing the last 8 years.  I thought, what has Alisa been doing for "fun" the last 8 years?

As I thought about this, I realized that Alisa's favorite pastime over the last 8 years has been planning and plotting her battle against cancer.  She studied her enemy, understood its weaknesses, planned her strategy, and executed an attack.  I don't know if she enjoyed it, but she was dedicated to it.  She spent many nights reading articles, communicating with other cancer patients, and looking for clinical trials.  She was a warrior, a General in her war against this horrible disease.  She won many battles, and in the end lost the war to an enemy that doesn't play by the rules, and has hundreds of years of experience.

My Spartan training pales in comparison to the preparation Alisa put in to her fight, and the pain I endure is nothing to what she passed through.  My respect and love for Alisa grows each day as I think on her life and the impact she had on me and my family.  We will be forever blessed for having her in our lives.


*the tattoo is temporary, in case you were wondering.

charity golf tournament

every year my work puts on a charity golf tournament to benefit Hunstman Cancer Foundation.  We have been doing it for 8 years (ever since Alisa was first diagnosed).  It is an amazing event and we have tons of fun.

for years I have wanted to take all of the boys with me.  The problem in the past was that only Luke really enjoyed golf, and Alisa was not a big fan of me taking them out of school for a day.  Well this year they all enjoy golf enough to spend a few hours playing, and I was the only one around to make the decision, so they got to come.

besides the fact that it rained basically the entire round of golf, we had a good time.  We play up at Wasatch State Park and the scenery is breathtaking.  The fall colors are awesome and even if your golf is poor, it is still worth the time in the mountains.  The highlight of the day was when I let James borrow my driver.  I can't believe he is tall enough to use my clubs.  He got up and took a practice swing, because it was wet and rainy, the club slipped out of his hand, and went flying into the trees.  James was terrified that I would be angry, but I just laughed, mostly because I knew we would find it.  We started looking and spent 15 minutes with no luck.  We played the rest of the round without a driver.  After the round was over we went back to look some more.  After an hour of looking we gave up.  We had lost my Taylor Made R9 driver...  Looking back, I should have really yelled at James.  But the story is not over.  On the next hole, I hit one of the best shots of my life and stuck my tee shot about 4 ft from the pin.  I won the closest to the pin contest and won....a new driver.  It was a good day, and I can't wait to play next year.

After Alisa was first diagnosed, we immediately went to Huntsman and began treatments.  Over the years we had to leave Huntsman for some experimental treatments.  We visited some of the top cancer hospitals in the country to receive these treatments.  The interesting part is that we only looked outside of Huntsman, because Alisa didn't fit the trial criteria for the same drugs that were available at Huntsman. 

we have the best cancer hospital in the country.  We have experienced others, and as great as they were, none of the facilities, doctors, or nurses could compare to what Huntsman has built right here in Utah.  I can't put into words what Mr Huntsman has created, but the doctors and nurses there, seem to not just care for their patients, but love them as well.  

I will forever be grateful for the support we received from Huntsman, specifically the nurses and doctors that supported us through it all.  

happy (but not the best) birthday

I went to the temple this week.  It is the first time since Alisa died.  I never loved going to the temple by myself when Alisa was alive, it was especially hard with her gone.  There is no question that I feel closer to Alisa while I am at the temple, but maybe that is what makes it so difficult.  She is so close, yet so far away.

I had my 37th birthday yesterday, and although we never made a big deal out of birthday's, Alisa always had something up her sleeve to make it special.  I had a great birthday, even if Alisa was missing.  Alisa's family was very thoughtful and gave me some wonderful treats to enjoy during the football game.  My family invited us for dinner and hung out with me during the football game.  BYU won, which is about as good a present as I could ask for.  But my favorite present was the birthday sign James put up while I was gone.  He also wrapped a present for me.  

James wrapped my present and when I got home, Luke asked if he could go get the present and bring it out.  James said "uh, probably you shouldn't, it might fall apart if you pick it up."  So we went into my room and unwrapped what looked suspiciously like a hockey stick.  James said "that took me so long to wrap..."  He did a great job, and I will probably never be able to express how blessed I am to have him around. For example, I won't let him have instagram, I won't bore you with my reasons, but he is constantly giving me reasons he should have instagram.  He doesn't complain, or throw fits about ruing his teenage life, he just accepts my reasons, and pesters me good-naturedly about signing up.  I try to post picture of him regularly so he doesn't feel totally left out of the scene, so last night while he was at the BYU game with his friends we had this messaging exchange.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, it was a fun day, surrounded by family and people I love.

p.s.  I know who paid for the hockey stick, and I will pay you back, somehow.

p.p.s For those of you wondering why I need a hockey stick.  my brother in law asked if I wanted to play in a rookie hockey league with him, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to try.  

school and fun

School started a few weeks back and I think we are finally getting into the swing of things.  We had a busy summer and the school year looks to be much of the same.

Each of the boys have their own things going on.

James

James started 9th grade this year and is pretty excited to be at the top of the food chain.  He plays trombone in the Jazz band.  He is doing rock climbing at Momentum a couple days a week and is enjoying that.  I am excited that he will be able to teach me some rock climbing techniques.  He is so fun to talk to and his confidence is awesome.  Two James stories that made me laugh over the last couple weeks.

1. We went golfing last Friday.  James drove one cart with Sam, and Luke and I rode in the other cart.  I have always told my boys that they don't have to love golf, they just have to like it enough to play a round together.  This was the first time we made it through, and everyone enjoyed it.  One of the problems with me and sports is that I have a hard time not trying to "correct" the boys every time they swing.  At one point James miss-hit a shot, and then I hit one that was worse.  I took the opportunity to explain that the boys shouldn't get discouraged with bad shots, even experienced players hit bad shots.  After my "speech" James looked at me and said "Dad, I don't get discouraged."  I love this kids confidence.
2. I was in San Francisco last week for work and the nanny started Monday while I was gone.  After the first day, she asked if she could take them to get some jeans (that's right, my kids didn't have jeans).  I gave James a credit card a while back for situations like this.  They found some jeans and went to pay.  They asked for ID.  This is a problem because the credit card is Alisa's old one.  The conversation went something like this

                            James: I don't have ID.

                            Cashier: Do you have approval to use this card?  Who are you? (looking at Sydney)

                            Sydney: I am the nanny

                            James: Yes we have permission.

                            Cashier: Who is, Alisa Linton, this is her card.

                            James: She is my mom.

                            Cashier: Where is she?

                            James: She is dead.

                            Cashier: uh, ok, we will take care of you.

When James told me this story I was laughing so hard.  I am so impressed with his ability to handle these situations with strength and confidence.  He kept asking me if he should have said something else.  Nope, he said exactly the right thing.

Sam

Sam started 7th grade and also started playing lacrosse.  He is playing the clarinet in the band.  The choice of instrument has been somewhat of a challenge.  He really wanted to play the flute.  I might have not been supportive of this choice, so I asked some questions about why he wanted to play the flute.  I thought that if it was because he would be surrounded by girls, I could support the flute.  Nope, it is because he wants to play the piccolo.  I asked why he wants to play the piccolo.  Sam said "because it can fit in my pocket."  After a few exhausting conversations we decided to let the band teacher help him decide, and if they need more flute players, I would support him.  Luckily during his first days of band the teacher lined up all the kids that hadn't chosen an instrument and told them he was going to choose for them, based on their "personality."  As Sam recounts the story "He looked at me and immediately said, the clarinet. He didn't even hesitate, he knew right away, He had to think about it for the other kids."   I think I agree with Sam, Mr. Summers was inspired. Sam has not had the easiest time with music, but he is loving the clarinet and even practices without being asked.

Luke

Luke keeps busy with his school work, piano, and soccer.  He is playing goalie for his soccer team this year, and has been doing a great job.  For a kid that is pretty terrified of anything new, I was nervous he may not like it, but he committed in the spring to play goalie this year and has worked hard, improved a ton, and gets up when he gets knocked down.  I love watching his games, and have even learned to keep my mouth shut (80% of the time).

Josh

The highlight of my week in San Francisco was Tuesday night when I found out Phantom of the Opera was playing.  I saw Phantom for the first time back in junior high or high school with Alisa.  It has always been one of my favorite musicals, and maybe it is because I first saw it with her.  It was a little sad going to a play by myself, but it was a fun trip down memory lane.  Alisa an I saw Wicked at this same theatre in San Fran just a few years ago.  

The round of golf I played with my boys last Friday was a dream come true.  They enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, and I look forward to many more rounds together.

Los Linton Boys

Sydney (our nanny) started on Monday and has been fantastic.  When I told her she would be starting the same week I would be gone, she wasn't worried at all.  She got the kids ready for school picture day, she went to Luke's back to school night, made dinner, made sure the kids practiced their music, got them to their activities, bought them some jeans (this is a first for Sam), and still wants to come back next week.

We went on a short backpacking trip yesterday up to the Uintah's with some of our cousins and uncles and had a great time enjoying the outdoors, even if we still haven't unpacked from the trip.

Last but not least, we watched BYU beat Nebraska yesterday in miraculous fashion.So awesome!