the worse half

I am sure you have heard people say that their spouse is their better half.  Imagine the trouble that causes when the better half is no longer around.  All that is left is...

the rotten half

the worse half

the not-as-good half

It doesn't really matter what you call it, the problem is there are a number of things that get out of control when the better half is missing.  Here are some stories and examples of what happens when the better half is missing.

You sign your dog up for "pet insurance."

I took Ginger to the vet to get a fish hook out of her foot.  I was in such a rush getting there on time that I when the vet checked her out, the fish hook was already gone.  So I decided that since we were already there, I would get Ginger a checkup and her shots.  This is what they found.

Broken tooth - requires extraction

strange mass on her foot - requires removal, and for an extra $200 tested for cancer

Dental cleaning - not mandatory, but since she will be knocked out anyway, you might as well get it done.

At this point I had 2 choices, plan on paying $900+ for all the treatment, or sign up for the premium dog plan and the total would only be $700.  So I signed up for the insurance.  I was raised to treat animals as animals, not as humans.  Sometimes the right thing to do is to put your dog to sleep.  There has been two chances over the years when Ginger has needed some medical attention, I guess our family has just not been ready to lose another family member.

Long story short, Ginger had the surgery, removed her teeth, got the mass removed, and has a beautiful set of clean teeth.  Her recovery was a bit annoying.  I had to either keep a "cone of shame" on her all the time (I could not submit my poodle to such a thing), or watch her day and night to make sure she didn't bite out her stitches and lick her wounds and keep them from healing.  It was a rough two weeks and I am sure Alisa's sisters (who helped take care of Ginger) are glad she is healed up.  

You buy a waffle cone maker - and other useless things

My better half definitely kept me in line from a spending perspective.  Amazon has too many great things.  the waffle cone maker is awesome, but you can't have a waffle cone maker without something to hold the waffle cones while they cool.  so I bought a waffle cone holder.  A batch of waffle cone mix makes 8 waffle cones, the holder only holds 4 cones, so I bought another waffle cone holder.  Is anyone out there convinced this was a wise financial decision?  

I doubt I could have convinced Alisa.  I sometimes try to convince the kids there is a silver lining in our situation, like not having anyone tell me not to buy junk, but this could really backfire.  I started to budget (or at least keep track of what I spend) so I think I can get this under control.

You get a tattoo - or you get a fake tattoo that looks real.

When I first decided to run a spartan race back in December of 2013, my neighbors showed me some pictures of the race and said they were going to run it.  I laughed, and laughed.  I basically told them they were crazy and they could never do it.  The videos were cool though, and I decided to show my family when I got home.  I was laughing and telling them how my friends thought they could do it.  My family, the boys, Alisa, probably even Ginger, all looked at me and said, seriously, yeah dad you could never do that.  

I immediately signed up for the race, called my friends, and started working out. Alisa supported me as I tried to prove them all wrong.  I found that this race was the first thing I had done that really motivated me to exercise consistently.  By the end of 2014 I had run 3 Spartan races, a marthaon, and was in the best shape of my life.  Alisa encouraged me, laughed at me when I failed obstacles, and put up with my early morning schedule.  I had already signed up for this years race when our world changed at the beginning of this year.  I was not as prepared as last year, but it kept me motivated to get out of bed and exercise.  My "tattoo" is my tribute to Alisa and her support.  After the race I thought I would just keep exercising, I had been consistent working out 3-4 days a week for a month. The Monday after the race I set my alarm for 5:00 AM, then I push the snooze button for 3 hours until I had to get out of bed and get the kids off to swim team.  Tuesday, same thing.  I quickly realized I could be heading down a very...dangerous path.  So...I signed up for 2 more Spartan races this year, and I am back on the workout program.  

Your kids chide you for yelling.

When we would get upset with the kids for one thing or another, the parent that was not initially involved in the yelling would have to be the nice parent in the situation.  Alisa and I would switch roles depending on the situation.  I have few talents, but I was born with a loud voice, and I can yell. the other day we were playing Parcheesi and Luke got upset when James sent his pawns Home.  He went on about breaking the rules, and it wasn't fair, I yelled at him, James went downstairs, Luke went to his room, and I just fumed about how my kids still cry over games.  A couple days later we were watching the Women's World Cup and the USA scored a goal, I yelled.  All three of my boys were silent, James looked at me and said, "Dad, I don't like it when you yell, even when you are happy."  Whoa.  Sam had told me in the past he doesn't like me coaching his teams because even when I am yelling encouragement it sounds like I am angry.  I guess I have a lot of work to do, and I am missing my better half.

I am sure there are other things, but we can stop there.  We have had some great moments the last few weeks, in spite of my mistakes.

We went to the Lehi Rodeo which is a great tradition.

Luke had his tenth birthday.  It was fun, but as I was taking pictures of him, I think he was missing his mom.  It just looked like he was trying hard to enjoy the moment, and he shouldn't have to try.  It was nice of his aunts to work so hard to give him the cupcakes he wanted.  they were perfect.

Rodeo.

We spent an evening at Sundance, playing, laughing, and just enjoying each other's company.

I have realized over the last month that one of the things I miss most is Alisa's ability to humble me.  I don't really know how to put this in words, but I have enough confidence to last me a lifetime, and Alisa knew how to encourage me, but not let me get too arrogant.  There were times when I would get upset because I felt like she was teaching the kids not to respect me.  I find now that I am grateful she taught them to question me (these words all seem wrong, I hope you get the gist).  James has filled the role nicely, reminding me that my blog "doesn't even quote him accurately," and that my "grammar and spelling are horrible {chuckling}."  Sam and James laughed their heads off when I had them take a picture of my "tattoo" and then made him retake it because he included my "love handles" in the picture.  Alisa taught them well, and I am grateful.